I always try to keep this blog business related and I try to always give some sort of practical information… something you can apply to your business.

But today is going to be a little different. I don’t really know where I’m going with this, I’m just going to say what’s coming up and I probably won’t edit it, so please just bear with me.

I just found out, a friend of mine from high school has stage 4 brain cancer. Actually, it’s my first serious boyfriend. And, I haven’t talked to him or even seen him in years - but my heart is absolutely breaking right now. I’m a mess - I’ve been crying all morning; I try to work, but I can’t focus.

When I try to make sense of the feelings that are gushing out of me, they come in two very distinct waves. The first is sadness for Darrell - that he is going through this, and that he has a family of his own - and what they must be going through. I can’t even fathom it.

The second wave that comes up for me is a look around my own life. As I sit here in my office, doing work I love, living inside of a home I adore with a family I cannot even begin to describe how grateful I am for… I’m STILL not satisfied with some things. Still. With all of these amazing things in my life - I can still be a whiny, stressed out, temper tantrum throwin’ PITA when things don’t go my way (and wasn’t I JUST telling Madd this morning to please not throw the temper tantrum about getting up or I would take her DS away… the DS got taken away *sigh*).

Anyway. What occurs to me is two REALLY big things.

First - I have nothing to worry about. Seriously. My life ROCKS. Most of this hissy-fit-throwin’ stress comes directly from inside of me. OUCH. Yeah, that hurts, but it’s true. I create it. I’m really, really good at beating myself up. When I sit and really look at what I’m stressed over… there isn’t really anything to be stressed over.

Second - when life doesn’t ROCK - I have the power to change it. I have a choice - I can sit here and whine, and throw the hissy fit, and become the victim.

Or, I can change it. All I need to do is take inspired action. That’s it. And no, it won’t manifest over night… but I can take the action.

Hearing about Darrell first and foremost is heart-wrenching - mostly because, he can’t change this. And don’t get all metaphysical on me right now and talk about how we create our reality… I get that - but so not ready to go there. And I’m not trying to diminish Darrell’s situation by focusing on me. I’m just trying to make sense of the emotions that are coming up, and I’m trying to determine how this is going to change me and the way I carry myself in the world. I’m trying also to give this a voice.

Also - I need support right now, and I want to lean on you awesome people in my business nation. Thank you so much for your prayers already - you guys are awesome and I know Darrell and his family would really appreciate that.

Anyway, what this is teaching me is that, I have this life - this one right in front of me. And I stress, and pine away for things, and sometimes so desperately want certain things to be different. All it takes is inspired action - that’s it.

My question to all of you is - what in the heck is it that you are NOT changing about your life that you SHOULD be changing?

Why aren’t you living your passion? Why are you stuck in a full time job when you really just want to be doing your work in the world? Why are you looking at certain things and wishing they were different - what is stopping you from making it so?

I challenge you - stop the victim behavior - stop the excuses. Don’t ansewer these questions with excuses - in fact, don’t answer them at all. Go out and DO something about it.