“Snowflakes are one of nature’s most fragile things, but just look what they can do when they stick together.” – Vesta M. Kelly

Alright, alright – I admit it. One of the hardest things for me to do is ask for help. And, I know I’m not alone in this. I’ve spoken to many clients, many colleagues and many other women who feel the same way.

Why? Why do we find it almost impossible to recognize our need for help, and then reach out?

One reason is, we feel ownership over our lives. We don’t want to lose that control – we want to make sure every last detail is handled exactly to our standards.

Another reason is, we feel it makes us look weak to ask for help. We’re supposed to be experts, people turn to US for help – we shouldn’t need help.

And yet, another reason we don’t ask for help is, we don’t even know we need help! I fall desperately into this category. It isn’t until I’m banging my head against my desk wondering why I’m stuck that I finally realize – all I need is a little help!

This exact scenario just happened in my business in December. I was trying to plan for 2008 – struggling to determine what my goals should be, how I would accomplish what I wanted to accomplish, and exactly what I should be doing. I hemmed and hawed, started a plan, stopped the plan, re-wrote the plan, got frustrated, started the plan again, wondered what would happen if I did certain things, stopped the plan again… Finally, I realized I could ask someone else for some insight.

So, I called up my coach, and began working more closely with him. I’ve had coaching throughout my business in one form or another – sometimes, it’s 1 on 1 coaching. Sometimes, it’s been group coaching. Still other times, it’s a teleclass, or a seminar.

Once I connected with my coach, a huge sense of relief washed over me. I felt supported. I felt empathized with. And most importantly – I saw the light! I received answers to my questions, and with just an hour phone call, I had the beginnings of a plan in place to get me moving in the direction I wanted to move.

It was so easy for him to look at my business, listen to where I wanted to go, and make a few suggestions that really made a difference. Sometimes it’s easier for someone outside our situation to see things we miss, or give us just the right guidance – especially if they’ve been where we’ve been, and are where we want to go.

I think the biggest sense of relief I felt was from the acknowledgement that I didn’t have to – nor was I supposed to – do this all on my own. I could ask for and receive help!

As humans, we’re not meant to be isolated. We’re not meant to do it all by ourselves. If that were the case, none of us would be guided to be in service to others. We’d all just go lock ourselves in a room and get it all done alone.

We need human contact. We need relationships. We need support. It’s ok to ask for it, and it’s ok to receive it.

Where do you need help? Look for places you feel stuck, or overwhelmed. When you hear yourself saying or thinking “I know that needs to get done… but I just don’t have time… and I don’t even know where to begin” or, “why won’t this situation change? What am I doing wrong?” Those are good indications you need some help.

Where do you turn for help? Sometimes, it’s as easy as asking your partner for help with the household chores. Other times, you may need to have a candid, private conversation with a good friend. Sometimes, you need the help of a professional. Take some quite time and sit with your situation. Listen to who it’s asking for help from.

I promise – just reaching out will bring so much relief, it will help you solve the situation, and get you moving ahead.

If you determine that you might need help in building your business, check out my 1 on 1 coaching program, or my upcoming Mindful Marketing Teleclass.

This entry was posted on Monday, January 28th, 2008 at 4:55 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.