“Snowflakes are one of nature’s most fragile things, but just look what they can do when they stick together.” – Vesta M. Kelly

Alright, alright – I admit it. One of the hardest things for me to do is ask for help. And, I know I’m not alone in this. I’ve spoken to many clients, many colleagues and many other women who feel the same way.

Why? Why do we find it almost impossible to recognize our need for help, and then reach out?

One reason is, we feel ownership over our lives. We don’t want to lose that control – we want to make sure every last detail is handled exactly to our standards.

Another reason is, we feel it makes us look weak to ask for help. We’re supposed to be experts, people turn to US for help – we shouldn’t need help.

And yet, another reason we don’t ask for help is, we don’t even know we need help! I fall desperately into this category. It isn’t until I’m banging my head against my desk wondering why I’m stuck that I finally realize – all I need is a little help!

This exact scenario just happened in my business in December. I was trying to plan for 2008 – struggling to determine what my goals should be, how I would accomplish what I wanted to accomplish, and exactly what I should be doing. I hemmed and hawed, started a plan, stopped the plan, re-wrote the plan, got frustrated, started the plan again, wondered what would happen if I did certain things, stopped the plan again… Finally, I realized I could ask someone else for some insight.

So, I called up my coach, and began working more closely with him. I’ve had coaching throughout my business in one form or another – sometimes, it’s 1 on 1 coaching. Sometimes, it’s been group coaching. Still other times, it’s a teleclass, or a seminar.

Once I connected with my coach, a huge sense of relief washed over me. I felt supported. I felt empathized with. And most importantly – I saw the light! I received answers to my questions, and with just an hour phone call, I had the beginnings of a plan in place to get me moving in the direction I wanted to move.

It was so easy for him to look at my business, listen to where I wanted to go, and make a few suggestions that really made a difference. Sometimes it’s easier for someone outside our situation to see things we miss, or give us just the right guidance – especially if they’ve been where we’ve been, and are where we want to go.

I think the biggest sense of relief I felt was from the acknowledgement that I didn’t have to – nor was I supposed to – do this all on my own. I could ask for and receive help!

As humans, we’re not meant to be isolated. We’re not meant to do it all by ourselves. If that were the case, none of us would be guided to be in service to others. We’d all just go lock ourselves in a room and get it all done alone.

We need human contact. We need relationships. We need support. It’s ok to ask for it, and it’s ok to receive it.

Where do you need help? Look for places you feel stuck, or overwhelmed. When you hear yourself saying or thinking “I know that needs to get done… but I just don’t have time… and I don’t even know where to begin” or, “why won’t this situation change? What am I doing wrong?” Those are good indications you need some help.

Where do you turn for help? Sometimes, it’s as easy as asking your partner for help with the household chores. Other times, you may need to have a candid, private conversation with a good friend. Sometimes, you need the help of a professional. Take some quite time and sit with your situation. Listen to who it’s asking for help from.

I promise – just reaching out will bring so much relief, it will help you solve the situation, and get you moving ahead.

If you determine that you might need help in building your business, check out my 1 on 1 coaching program, or my upcoming Mindful Marketing Teleclass.

Ever since the movie “The Secret” entered the market-place, an entirely new industry sprang up around it regarding the Law of Attraction.

I’m a teacher of The Law, I’ve been studying it for the better part of 11 years. I’m also glad that The Secret brought some of these spiritual principles to the mainstream. It certainly helped open more people to these concepts, and it definitely made for great conversation and great learning as more and more people discovered these teachings.

However. I’m now seeing a down side.

Along with bringing more visibility to these principals, it’s also spawned a belief system that if you only think a “certain way” or if you just focus on “these right things” that everything in your life will suddenly shift and you will attract everything you could possibly want.

There’s a big problem with trying to think just the right things, or visualize just the right dreams. The problem is - we live in a physical world. You have to interact with physical things, and people, and you’ve had past experiences that mold who you are - and all of that comes into play when creating your present circumstances. As humans, we just do not have the ability to materialize what we want out of thin air - and no amount of visualization is going to change that.

I’m seeing more and more people become frustrated with these principles because some people teaching them are leaving out the most important pieces - the pieces that teach what the right actions are to accomplish your goals, and the pieces that support us in the human journey. We can have success - but sometimes, we need to learn. We are not all-knowing beings. We are never done learning - as we strive toward our goals, there are things we need to learn to help us achieve what we want.

You may want a successful business, but if you don’t know the steps to take to achieve that, you’ll need to learn them. You may want to be a massage therapist, you’ll need to go to school to learn to safely massage your clients. You may want to play the harp - you’ll need to learn the strings, the notes and how to read music.

Mark Silver, has a really great post on his blog about why we can’t visualize our way to success. His post is what inspired my thoughs here.

If you’ve tried visualizations, mantras, and affirmations and still you’re finding yourself stuck. It’s ok - all you need is a little help, maybe some guidance, and maybe some support. You can get where you want to go - and yes - it’s important to visualize your goals and have the right mind-set around them. But, you need to take action too, and sometimes, you need someone to show you the way.

This weekend, I taught the Mindful Marketing Full Day Workshop at the Creative Healing Arts Center. One of the participants, Merry, a lovely Reiki Master, said that marketing is a turn off for her because she thinks of it as wonky flummoxing.

How much do I love saying that?!? After we all laughed a bit, we settled into the real meaning behind those words.

I think her terms describe exactly how many of us feel when it comes to marketing. There are so many bad examples of marketing out there.

In fact, I just saw one on TV this weekend. It was for a weight-loss supplement that claimed that if you took this pill, you could eat whatever you wanted and still lose weight… and then, they went on to say “If it wasn’t true, we couldn’t say it on TV.”

Talk about wonky flummoxing. When we see horrid examples like this, we can see why marketing is a turn-off.

In your business, marketing can support your business mission. Marketing is really about building relationships and telling potential clients how you are in service and what value you provide.

When marketing comes from fear and lack, it gets aggressive. But when it comes from a place of fullness and love, it’s about being who you are, building relationships, and offering value to those who need you.

I would love to hear or see some examples of wonky flummoxing that you’ve run across - feel free to post links or describe them here. Also, feel free to share your thoughts about marketing, and what challenges you might be facing right now.

I was just over at Carla’s blog and she posted the Hafiz poem below. This poem was really powerful for me this morning. My business is going through a bit of transition as 2008 begins, and this poem was a beautiful reminder to stay centered, listen to my soul, and remember that I’m here to serve:

We have not come here to take prisoners,
But to surrender ever more deeply
To freedom and joy.

We have not come into this exquisite world
To hold ourselves hostage from love.

Run my dear,
From anything
That may not strengthen
Your precious budding wings.

Run like hell my dear,
From anyone likely
To put a sharp knife
Into the sacred, tender vision
Of your beautiful heart.

We have a duty to befriend
Those aspects of obedience
That stand outside of our house

And shout to our reason
“O please, O please,
Come out and play.”

For we have not come here to take prisoners
Or to confine our wondrous spirits,

But to experience ever and ever more deeply
Our divine courage, freedom and
Light.

~Hafiz

This also stirred in me a remembrance… to be in my truth as I build my business; to be centered; and to remember that it’s about love and joy.

I was speaking to a client last week who said that she would love to give up her part-time job and focus fully on her healing practice. But, she didn’t think her healing practice would ever support her financially. When I asked her why, she shared that deep down, she felt that making a profit from the healing practice somehow tainted it… that she felt she could keep her practice pure if she received financial security from something else.

Why do we, as spiritually conscious business owners feel that it is somehow wrong to be abundant and remain spiritually centered? Why is money so wrong for us?

In this case, my client had been exposed to all sorts of horrid images. I mean, who wants to think of their practice as a “business” and be put into the same category as Enron, and all the other dishonest no-gooders that operate “businesses?”

And, who wants to think about “marketing” their business? We definitely don’t want to be out there being aggressive and doing all of those awful tactics just to get people to spend money with us.

For us, it’s not about the money. Money is nice - but it’s not our motivator. We, as spiritually conscious business owners, are motivated by something much deeper - being in service.

So, the question is - can we be abundant and be in service? Yes!

When you are in service, you are providing real value to someone. And I’m sure, in your practice, you’ve seen your clients go through big healings - you’ve seen the difference your services or products have made for them.

That difference is definitely worth an energy exchange. And that’s what money is. It’s an energy exchange.

When you are in service, you must receive - you can’t just give and give and give - you’ll deplete yourself. And if you deplete yourself, you’re no good to anyone… you may get sick, and you can’t be in the office for a few days… if you’re not financially secure, you worry and stress over your financial situation obsessively - and you can’t focus on your clients, let alone anything else.

You can have abundance through your spiritually-based business. Take the focus off of the actual money, and focus on the value you are providing to your clients. The money is the energetic exchange for that value.

How do you see money and abundance fitting into your business?